paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shy on cards Besides my really dorky one-word entrance to this new realm of communication, "test," I am with this entry trying something new. In a way I keep drawing blanks, like when I have to sign a group card or maybe way, way back in the yearbook-signing days. Uh, happy birthday. Today is father's day. I took my stepfather two cards and two (hopefully) yummie cookies. One card had an alien, finger-pulling sort of joke. Because we have a long-standing alien joke in our family that goes so far back that it replaced a long-standing Elvis joke. I suppose many know that Elvis is eternal, but Always Elvis wine is not eternal. The joke ended when we finally drank the Always Elvis wine and it had not aged well. So, from Elvis to aliens and probings, to father's day.... I was feeling some pressure to say something nice also,which resulted in a blank card because there are not too many for-my- step-father cards. Sometimes it is hard to find a card that says what you want it to say. And yet I wonder if it is disappointing for someone to receive a blank card that has a few words uncomfortably written in them. Blank cards are more about baring a soul than saying thank you. I am hung-up on the social construction of greeting cards in our lives. Just yesterday I was talking with my girlfriend/partner/uh,roommate about the prestigious place of greeting cards in her family. Neither one of us can ever really come through with just the card. We have this knack for being drawn to the really, really boring cards and then find our brains trying to make them "work." Because somehow we both resist the concept of cards on top of wrapped gifts. Sometimes resistance comes from somewhere deep inside and it is almost subconscious. But in her family, you can get the perfect gift, and if it is not accompainied by the perfect card, the whole moment is shot. Not that the gift isn't appreciated later -- and we just hang on to that concept. Her family is incredibly special and, even if she were not related to them, we would still like them. That is significant. But, one thing they have in common is this ability to pick out the perfect card and mutually get a big charge out of it. The cards go around the room and everyone has something to say about it. Except our cards, which fall flat on their flat little faces, without fail. Our cards go around the room sort of fast. Her family members sort of crack them open about 82 degrees and are polite, bordering on unanimated, about the entire rotation of our card. Maybe cards do not have a big of a presence in other places as they do here. Hallmark was born here and lives here to this day. Hallmark is everywhere, I know, but it is really here. It is here in a way that pink and green plaid couch might be in a small living room. It makes me aware that it is not enough to think about the person I want to be-gift. But an extra $5.00 needs to go into the card and the wrapping of this gift. I would rather spend my energy on the gift by making it or really finding something that is practical or meaningful or nice in an intangible way. I used to think that cards were for sending people in lieu of a gift. Or, that cards came with gift certificates. But now everyone gives them on top of the gift, too. And if I don't, will that be some signal that I don't care enough to .... What do people do with cards? I have saved a few that were really special. But, given my weird taste in cards, there are only a couple of people able to pick out a great card. Other cards clunk around for a bit. And then they become caught up in the jet stream that flows through our house. Eventually they disappear. My aunt sends me postcards, which I adore. I have every postcard she has ever sent to me in a box. And it is really, really fun to look at them every once in a while. Because she sends really goofy postcards and the fashions change. The Walnut Bowl factory store postcard from 1976 is a classic! I work with someone who is close to living up to all of *the* standards... she tucks her cards in recipe books so she can stumble on them later. But she must not be a panic in the kitchen when she cooks -- bowls piled everywhere, chopping boards, pots, not enough room. And now there are cards for everything and for everyone (almost) in every store imaginable. But one has to go to a special store for cards that "recognize" gays. Because Hallmark does not. And, as I said, in the town with the crown, there are only a handful of these stores, while every neighborhood has a Hallmark store. I can walk to my choice of two in ten minutes. But then, cards can really come in handy in work situations. And then, the problem is all about how to sign them. And there, I am completely indecicive and never, ever fail to write something ultra-bland. So bland that I hope people realize that it was my imposter. I'm shy on cards. 12:57 p.m. - 2002-06-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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