paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the jaded fracture easily Today my reflection is on heartbreak and the different ways our hearts break just a tiny bit each day; and the different ways we allow ourselves and others to repair the fractures. I am not directly talking about love-relationship, major heartbreak. When Rufus Wainwright sings � why did you have to break my whole heart�. It�s not whole-heart heartbreak I�m discussing. It�s the build up the small, inconsequential heartbreak of just trying to make one�s way in the world as an open, friendly person and sensing others misconstrue communications and invitations. It�s also the buildup of the quiet subtle homophobia out there that does not permit friendship outside of everyone being fully anchored in relationships and then all of the particular parties must gather as a group. Homosexuals alone are not to be trusted with built-in proprieties. Especially lesbians. It�s a lonely world to wake up to the sad suspicion that people think I want to be friends because I want to somehow have some level of illicit relationship. It couldn�t be further from the truth. I happen to like having friends because relationships matter and are one of small handful of things that improve the human existence and can help repair the fractures all over at least this brittle and jaded heart. I am fortunate to have a wonderful partner. However it would be nice to have friends also. I was married once and had a full variety of friends outside of marriage and no one questioned anything about that. Which is why I have decided I�m surrounded by subtle and liberal homophobia. I don�t like the heartbreak of knowing that I�m not to be trusted because lesbians are incapable of being committed partners. It�s an unfortunate stereotype that it alive and well even though it�s not often brought to light. 2:32 p.m. - 2006-12-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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