paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that's all for now I've been away a long time. Too long, as usual. The night is still and dark and cold. I cannot forget to mention cold as the thermostat has set back to 55 and I hear an arctic storm is heading into town. Two of them. It depends on who I ask. People at work are such weather watchers. I think it is the cubicle, the weatherless environment, the lack of freedom... whatever it is, the panic set in this afternoon. Storm arriving, on Sunday. On Saturday. Not my Saturday. Please. I was in my own panic trying to get some grants to upload in an online submission format. Long story. I had to let go of the job tonight. Something may have gone wrong and I can't do anything about it. My job, my real job, is to let it go. To resolve that it can be addressed, corrected, later. Or if not, I did my very best. I worked so hard that I truely believe that I had no more left to give. Not my happiness, my health, my relationship -- all of it in turmoil over this job. I don't even know that I like this job. So I feel like things are up to universe. And it makes me antsy. It makes me stir in the dark night, worrying about letting people down. Sometimes life requires a person to run off the cliff and then look around for the net. Meanwhile the rocky coast is below, drawing nearer and nearer. Not much new due to working too hard and feeling sad. I don't seem to write when I'm sad. But Quinn and I whipped up a website. www.2badmice.net . I'm too cold to think. Shivering and shivering.... 12:53 a.m. - 2004-01-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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