paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a matter of routine Routines. I've never been one to have a routine, ever. But sometimes, I wonder how I function without one -- how many times can I debate whether it is better to wash my face first or brush my teeth first when bathroomizing. It got me started thinking about routines and I decided that I was going to start a morning routine that is systematic. It might make it easier to get out the door for work. Today I began -- and imagine, I kept thinking as I set my routine, what is optimum? But finally, I doubt that I did anything different from an average morning, only now, I have to be consistent the rest of the week. I have no idea what I will learn about myself. Sometimes, it is just fun to try to be subject of my own experiment. Probably I'll conclude it makes no difference. I doubt that I am really missing anything significant in my haphazard way of being in the world. It may be that I am an old dog and just now waking up to the trick of routine. Something to cling to so that I know what will happen and when, at least in the time it takes to get out of bed and leave the house for a day at work. Today, my mother entertained me with the story of her stepfather and his dictionary. My grandparents got their walls repainted in their house. They left all of the books off of the shelf because they knew my mother would be down over the weekend and thought she could help them vacuum and organize their shelves. But my step grandfather was nervous because he has to have his dictionary on the top shelf about nine inches from the right side of the bookshelf. It cannot be ten inches because he has built his routine around reaching for his dictionary -- his calls his routine his "thing" -- "when I do my thing, I need to be able to reach and get the dictionary here. If it is not here it will through my whole thing off." The possibility of my mother putting the dictionary elsewhere had made him nervous for days and so he spent the weekend checking to make certain his dictionary was "there." And so as is often the case with resolutions and pilot studies, I found it entertaining that my mother returned from a visit with her parents with tales about how far they have retreated into their routines. It added another layer of wonder for me with my own project -- is it retreat? Would anyone blame me? It's been over 100 every day for 2 weeks and we have had no rain. Everything is dead outside, people are acting half-crazed and way too intense.... I'm batteling with feeling depressed and realizing that I need to keep it together because my moods are connected to Quinn's moods. Sometimes being a good partner comes down to not starting a chain-reaction, downward spiral. My goal with my initiation of routine is to make room in my mind to think about my writing. And when all else fails, to feel as though I got something accomplished. As though I stuck to my plans. 7:35 p.m. - 2003-08-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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