paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- words Tonight I learned that Beth has cancer. That it is serious and at an advanced stage. And she is tired of talking and talking about it, it is exhausting her to relate the details again and again. I wanted to send her an e-mail because I imagine that it will be difficult for her to sleep, regardless of how emotionally worn out she is. But I cannot figure out how to get a hug in this e-mail or a kiss on the cheek. Somehow our intricate system of x's and o's seems so everyday. That on the biggest of occaisions we climb to four or five, but twenty of each would be like a small cake with 63 candles instead of nine or ten. That sometimes the real grace is in the simplest and most direct words. But those are the words that are used for all of these occaisions, and I mean them more or more instensly. To put a superscripted 2 or 3 after each of them would be so grade school. I hate how inadequate words can sometimes seem. It is better to be clunky and clumsy and honest but immediate and consistent than to be withdrawn and tidy. The sunset was equistly beautiful tonight when I left work. Extra orange and extra warm. It felt dense and almost tangible, perhaps even sticky for a cool and rainy fall evening. It was the first time I have really appreciated a sunset in several months. And then I went home. Soon after I got the call. 11:11 p.m. - 2002-11-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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