paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- where did the evening go A short entry from me tonight. I am not entirely certain where the evening went. This happens to me when all of the sudden I find myself leaving work in the dark. I have trouble pacing myself without the idea of the sunset and the noticeable slow building upon the evening a big dark night. I left work late. I watched television, which is something I rarely do. Quinn and I are still eating the chili I made on Sunday. My tiredness from the emotional stress of having my grandmother in such bad health, and my relief from discovering I got an A on my Milton midterm, set the pace of having an evening where I got absolutely nothing done. But I did talk to Beth, my step-father�s (the Major) younger sister, on the telephone for almost two hours. We had what my ex-husband always used to call the �two bachelor conversation.� Basically, after talking about my grandmother and everyone�s reaction to my grandmother, and speculating on how my mother is doing, we talked about an odd assortment of dibs and dabs. Getting out sweaters and putting away shorts. I asked her whether she purchased T-shirts and observed how in my own life I finally have reached the age where I actually buy T-shirts. There was a time in my life where everything came with a T-shirt and the question was more �what I do with another T-shirt?� Beth and I have an incredible propensity for talking about nothing. And it shocked me a bit because it has been several years since we just shot an evening on the phone with a long, meandering conversation. I liked it in the way I used to like just going over to her apartment and hanging out. We had a casual relationship where we stopped making plans and just did whatever we took a fancy to doing. Sometimes we would hop in the car and drive to another town. Sometimes we would cook. Or get out the art supplies. I miss that, which makes this phone conversation a special treat. When you live far away from someone you love, how often do you really get to have the everyday, casual conversations that come from living in the same city and being close? I have always enjoyed the fact that we do not need to be completely official in our phone conversations. Several years have passed since I last saw Beth but that does lessen my interest in the basics of her life. I like knowing what she�s wearing, where she is sitting, what she ate for dinner, getting an update on her allergies, hearing about her friends, talking about what to do with all of her books and envisioning new systems for categorization. My week is completely getting away from me. I forgot to go to a going away party for a friend who is moving to Denver. (A work-related function, but still!) I have to bake cookies for the neighborhood bake sale and tomorrow is the opening night of a play to which Quinn and I have free tickets. The binder project is hanging over my head like a lead safe dangling on a thread. And I keep thinking I am not breathing deeply enough to handle everything that is going on in my life right now. Which I know is not factual. But it is a feeling, and I am tired, and weary of looking at the boxes everywhere�.. More later! 11:40 p.m. - 2002-10-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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