paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- like when your hair falls out in clumps Like when your hair falls out in clumps and you really want a drink. The last interview the Esquire and I had today told us that sometimes, this is what multitasking feels like. But he does it, every day, meeting his daily and his monthly deadlines. Then he heads home to homemaker wife and baby in small town. His career ambition is to support his wife and be able to provide for the other children who will �happen along.� Honestly, I was wondering whether he actually understood how little ones happen along, he seemed so in shock from his foray into parenthood. Another long day of bonding for the Esquire and I as we search for a new executive assistant. We need someone vastly over-qualified, who is deep and wise, with a wonderful sense of humor, who can charm faculty and top administration as well as the �old behavior� gatekeeper clerks. We need someone who will make the coffee, serve the coffee and answer the phone but be equally as witty and intelligent as the Esquire. We need a secular saint, and like all paradoxes and conundrums, this person is in high demand and short supply. This is what I have been and unfortunately I raised the Esquire�s sight of possibility for her assistant. How will I convince the Esquire that there is only one person with my skills and abilities and unique self-esteem issues to take this job? And even I am so relieved to move on to assistant director, should we ever get anyone hired. I promised the universe that when I do not have a meeting, I would get into the office by 8 and make my share of coffee and wash out my own cup. Because I think it is out-moded and not in keeping with the spirit of the university to find an intelligent person and make this person wash out cups. We all know where the sink is and have no difficulties maneuvering in the break room. We interview and interview. 5 today. 5 last week. No one is quite right. Some people even scare us. One woman, we can�t get a hold of her, keeps leaving things in the office for us. Yet no one has seen her. Is she real if her phone and e-mail do not work and she never waits around to see anyone? She sneaks in through the construction site instead of calling us, but the construction guys have not seen her either. How creepy is that? Another woman would not let us ask her a question, she was so busy demonstrating her incredible competence and telling us that it is a buyers market. It looks as though we have two good candidates. But I still do not know how they will hold up with the Esquire. She is demanding and, even worse, she does not need to work. (She�s a bajillionaire, don�t you know, and the university is making this all very much worth her bajillionaire while � why is it that bajillionaires get everything made worth their while?) Her motivation is tied to her reputation and her desire to have a do-good project that is more lasting than a successful fund-raiser. I spent my day trying to gain insight into individuals, using the behavioral interview method, and realizing how vague and bogus interviews are. We each take turns posing questions. The interviewees try to supply the correct answer. But this is no guarantee. Most interviewees cannot give us actual examples, they are so pumped up on interview technique books. 10 things to say to get the job. And there is nothing like getting 200 or so applications to notice what is trendy on the bookshelves. 92 applicants, in their cover letters, made a little table. In each row on the column on the left they listed an indicator from the job description and in the column on the right they listed their skill or talent associated with the indicator. It was neat when the first five people did it, but quickly the charts became as unrevealing as the resumes. 31 people had identical cover letters�they did not get interviewed. Many smart people have consulted the list of action verbs and worked them into their resumes and cover letters. But how many smart people have actually borrowed entire cover letters and just changed the names? I am amazed by the extent to which people actually think that they are the only person who has purchased a particular job hunting manual. More proof that the goal of marketing companies, and I will add that from where I sit they are succeeding, have convinced a huge chunk of America that it is possible to purchase individuality. I keep thinking about the movie Poltergeist �You may have moved the cemetery but you left the bodies, didn�t you� You only moved the headstones.� On the other front, my journal article that I am writing for a faculty member and getting co-authorship on is due on Monday. So I am slaving away. It is a work thing, but no time to write it at work. Already, I am resigning myself to a weekend of writing to meet this goal. It feels as though it will benefit work much more than me, but I do know that another publication on my CV would not set me back. One more weekend and another set of evenings offered up for work. Unlike the Esquire, I really need the money. So I stay motivated. The statement by the last interview has stuck on my mind. It sums up the oddness of spending a day with back-to-back interviews. Yep, life is just like when your hair is falling out in clumps and you really need a drink. I told Quinn just tonight after eating our cold tuna salad plates, that I would like to drink alcohol tonight. I would also like a big thing of ice cream. A foot bath. A massage with something that smells like lavender or ginger. Then I tell myself the line I learned in the movie about Patsy Cline, �People in hell want a glass of cold water, but that don�t mean they get it.� Lots of movies on the brain. After the article it will be time to have a favorite movie fest. I�m taking recommendations�.
7:57 p.m. - 2002-07-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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