paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- road of dreams Hot humid night. Air conditioning broken and it is one of those moments when everything seems impossible. To retreat into the mind. To find there some peace and perhaps some inspiration would help. Sometimes cleaning house, mentally, helps the world seem cooler, less hostile. Learning to let go of everything that exceeds my control -- obnoxious drunken neighbors, weird work environments. The culture of take action makes me think I should fix everything around me, until it measures up. I should somehow keep the drunken neighbors from yelling at Quinn from their porch, hurling insults through the air. I should somehow make her safe from their ridiculousness. Somehow find a way to make them cease to matter and definately stop their friends from moving in next door. I know I get messages that I should do something about it everywhere I turn. Except for the big stuff... the big stuff I should ignore. The environment around me is perplexing. I need to shut all of that out. To stop observing the obnoxious neighbors. To live near them is to live next to the freeway -- eventually the cars begin to sound like the ocean and one knows how dreams are swept along the road, high speed, in bundles. How do I keep my Quinn from fretting? I can see it on her face. Early this morning we awoke to the sound of breaking -- no shattering -- glass. We awoke to our beating hearts and that sense of intrusion. One of the drunken neighbors, or one of his friends, through a beer bottle at the house and it broke all over the front patio. Freeways are also full of giant trucks leaking toxins. To learn how to see past the trucks and find how the dreams move along in bundles until they reach their home. How some happy person somewhere unpacks kindness, smooths out the wrinkles and places it in a drawer. Somewhere in Kansas in a maple dresser with sachets. 11:06 p.m. - 2004-05-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||