paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- line forms on the left Lunch time at work. I've shut my office door to have lunch, a salad from the grocery store down the street, because I dislike eating salad when chances are someone will stop by my door and need something. Chances are I'll have lettuce in my teeth. I'm distracted from my job today because I decided to apply for a job at another university. It takes energy to arrive at the decision to apply for another job -- and that energy leaves some strange residue. Although I've decided it is time and I'm excited for the opportunity. The position pays a little less but is one step up on the ladder. I think I will be able to make up the difference in increased health and happiness. It's a ten-month appointment, also, which means, time to write. Being a writer is what I want to be, afterall. Having freedom and free-time to write, from the top of my energy, and two months of focused time during the summer ought to facilitate that. Ought being the operative word. Ought is so close to nought. I'm nervous though, and wary of the strain. What will happen to my program when I leave? Organizationally, this happens far too often. There has to be a change in leadership for the university to support a program at the level it needs to be supported. A change in leadership has to happen to move the program along -- not because I am not great at what I do... I almost look at it in terms of personality and associatation. As soon as someone is hired in to the position who is not the founding program director, it will become owned by the university. I'm actually looking forward to negotiating a new job in an established program -- I've always been on the start-up end -- for that very reason. Focus on the work, on the potential inherrent in the work. I hate perceiving the big giant microscope focusing down on me. It may not actually even be there, though the perception of it is enough of a mechanical terror. On Sunday we did some yard work and I pulled something between my shoulder and neck and have been in some hefty pain. I've gotten to work but yesterday I wore slacks and a sweater. When I ran into the esquire in the parking lot, she gave me the disapproving glance-over inspection look. The sound of it is small enough, but to those of us on the receiving end of that glance.... thinner, more attractive people than me have concluded it unpleasant. That helped me make my decision. The project coordinator's resignation also helped me make my decision. No one lasts in this office and I hope to be next to exit. If the line is forming on the left -- I better run. 1:07 p.m. - 2004-04-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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