paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- being bold and unusual People at work are having meltdowns and crumbling meltdowns, even. And I am getting stronger. Always driving against rush hour (always driving into some other stressful combination). Poetry class is going well. I am learning a great deal and the professor is working on me, teaching me. Sometimes, education amounts to nothing else but the willingness to dissolve into the water, and when it evaporates, to be the same but in a new context. The hardest thing about life still remains for me that disagreement is not personal. I struggle with having the guts to throw out the statements worth talking about, with being willing to cease having discussion or disagreement be personal. I guess that is why in Roberts Rules of Order, names are never used. Because as soon as names are used it is human to have a personal reaction. [But still I don�t know how they are working at the House in this state.] If I could just let go of worrying about being judged or making the right impression � those times when I just let go and participate in the moment are the most enjoyable times in life � I know I would be happier and probably find myself doing more things that I like doing. Today, I participated in a conversation about autoflush toilets in class. I felt myself letting go and laughing and making jokes about autoflush toilets. And people said "that's twisted" (they were right). No one knows me better than Quinn and she would say that I have a dark, twisted side.... Always the same things, over and over. But the more I see it, the closer I am to making a break. In class, I talk all the time. At work, I lead projects. It gets easier, participating in life. 9:06 p.m. - 2003-04-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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