paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- task lights and arpeggios My task light at work seems to have a personality. Due to the awkward positioning of the task light, and the general awkwardness of the steel-and-plywood-monstrosities, I reposition it almost every day. Some days it reminds me of a grasshopper in profile. On other days, clearly, it sulks. Today, it sulked, because the Esquire had no meetings. All afternoon, I caught myself glancing up at my task light, thinking that it looked a bit how I felt, behind my happy face. So often I put on a happy face and after a while I forget I am wearing it. I guess that is the trick. But then there are times when I look at the world and I see what I feel projected onto the landscape in front of me. And my face, all of the sudden, feels tired. Sometimes I feel I have been suppressing feelings for so long, I wonder what I would actually do if I let myself feel whatever it is that gets to rumbling around. Would I let out a really long yell? Run down the street and never stop? Turn a cartwheel? Hit my head on the wall? Or would I just put my head down on my desk and take a deep breath, for a minute, and then concentrate on my work. I like to play arpeggios on the guitar. The rhythm and repetition allow me to feel a few minutes of peace. No sadness there. No thought or analysis. Just fluidity and total participation in the moment of the music. Besides, they look harder than they are and sound prettier than they should. Arpeggios are perfect, in that way. But, at some point, I have to stop playing. 9:10 p.m. - 2002-09-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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