paisleypiper's Diaryland Diary

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the small details pass and are eternal

The song is Tracy Chapman's Baby Can I Hold You Tonight. Every time I hear this song I am transported to my nineteenth year. I lived in Boston and worked in an upstairs store in Fanueil Hall (people who worked in retail there sometimes called it Fanueil Hell). What is it about some songs that bring about a singular feeling, a view, a scent and even a taste? I can feel the chill and the dark, looking out the window of the second story store and awaiting time to close up. I listened to this tape a lot back then. The t-shirts were folded, the dressing room empty, and outside that common Boston drizzle. It would be a long walk home or maybe I would take the subway. My responsibilities a bit too large and yet everything was charged with the feeling of new exploration. This song seemed to remind me how on my own I was and how on my own I would always be. Not that I would categorize (or do categorize) being on my own as a bad thing. It was just sometimes I wished I could connect with those who cared for me easier.

The other thing this song and other incredisongs do is they make me feel as though I am being watched. Not literally and not necessarily in a god sense. But the type of self-awareness and being exactly in the moment that I would know that the small details would pass and be eternal.

8:31 p.m. - 2008-09-30

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